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104 Minstrel Fires (V&V CD)

by Mark Shepard

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about

If you’ve ever had a pivotal moment of desperate, “one step away from losing it” frustration and despair, you’ll relate to this song.

I FINALLY realized one day what the real problem was that was keeping me from “getting my music out into the world”.

It wasn’t the “heartless” music industry.

It wasn’t my mother telling me that music was a bad career.

It wasn’t my shyness or performing anxiety, fear of criticism or any of the other reasons or stories I was telling myself.

It was me. My victim thinking.

It was a moment of truth. To quote the old motivational speaker cliche: “If it is to be, it is up to me.”

This song basically records the precise moment I started to take charge of my own reality… and my own change. From that point onward I dedicated my life to healing the thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that were robbing me of my joy, power and health REGARDLESS of whether I was ever able to make a living from being a singer/songwriter.

It was “triggered” by a Bruce Cockburn song, “Loner”… then morphed into a conversation with my imaginary “inner Bruce Cockburn”… by the end of the song I was actually stepping out of my habitual “victim” mentality and owning that I had to “climb out of canyons of my own creating, …escape the prisons of my hesitating…”

The deeper truth here for all of us is that we are ALL trained by our culture to be victims. The dominant message from the media is that we are not pretty enough, rich enough, thin enough, talented enough or happy enough as we are and and it’s not our fault… we are “victims” of this or that or whatever. Their solution? Just buy something to fix it!

But no “pill gonna cure this ill”.

Transformation is an inside job. It is sometimes messy and difficult. If one of my songs can help to give you a little courage in your darkest moments then I’m satisfied that my 40 year journey of self healing is truly what I’m here for. Not fame. Not money. Not “getting my songs out into the world”. Just real transformation. I invite you to join me out here on this journey back to your core truth:

You are an amazing being of LIGHT. Let it shine today in whatever way you can let it shine.

– Mark

p.s. Check out the BRILLIANT electric guitar soloing by my dear friend Gene Moore (particularly at the end of the song)…

lyrics

Minstrel Fires

Song #104 | 6/7/1988 | CD: Visions and Voices

When I look at you dancing
I breathe deeply
Everything you do looks so damn easy
But envy never healed an aching heart
Or soothed this strange desire
Envy only wraps you up in wires

It is raining, I am running
I am walking, I am stumbling
I’m dreaming that I’m shouting
I wake up mumbling
And the faceless voices
Scattered all about me
Speak of a passion that would free me

Refrain:
If I could, I would fly
Into the Summer sky
If I would, I could fly
Into the Summer sky

My music is my lover
It is my enemy
It is my destination
It is my agony
Wrapped up in mad desires
Following the lights of
Ancient minstrel fires

Refrain:

Let the neighbors talk
Let them dream, let them wonder
Let my voice be full of thunder
I must climb out of canyons
Of my own creating
I must escape the prisons
O my hesitating

Refrain:

Copyright 1988-2015 by Mark Shepard. All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

credits

released March 5, 2016

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all rights reserved

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about

Mark Shepard Albany, New York

Welcome to my “Life In Song” project.

Since 1976, I’ve been obsessively and compulsively writing songs. Some of them are inspired by my own life, my attempts to understand love, life, spirituality, peace and justice.

While I recently have started to get a little recognition, you’ve probably never heard my songs ANYWHERE.

But now you can hear them... here... Download. Share. Thanks!
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